My cat is an asshole. He ate and then vomited directly back into his food bowl and then didn’t even have the decency to re-eat it. Sometimes he does eat the food again, and those are the best throw-up times. Today, though, he vomited, and then he just jumped up on to my bed like nothing happened. It was this clear fluid with solid food chunks and cat bile froth. It made me want to leave. It made me want to just grab my purse and leave all my stuff behind, and if anyone asked, I would just tell them that my house burned down and I needed a place to crash and can someone please call the red cross because I’m going to need a whole new wardrobe/house/body because everything was burnt in the fire.
It’s not just this vomit incident that is bothering me. My relationship with him is getting weird in that I think he thinks we are more than just cat/person.
I mean, every time I come home he’s sitting in the same spot staring at me like, ‘Where have you been all night?’
And I’m like, ‘I’ve been working so I can buy more cat food, and you can have something with which to vomit us out of house and home.’
And he keeps looking at me like, ‘Aren’t you going to come to bed?’