I was supposed to publish this on Mother’s Day, but I became a millionaire from the food-eaters instead. I’ve been really busy decorating my mansion.

My new boyfriend, Farmville took me to eat some authentic noodles at Daikokuya because he is super Asian. While the noodles were cool and had a whole hard boiled egg that I chased around the bowl with chopsticks, the thing that I have to share words about is the toilet paper in their bathroom.  I noticed it at the first touch, and I thought to myself that this restaurant must really care about its clientele.  I was too busy having to pee really bad when I first entered the restroom to notice how the rolls were displayed like a bouquet of frowers across the toilet’s water reservoir tank. (What is the name for that part of the toilet? The reservoir and not just plain old ‘the back?’).  I really wanted it when I saw it, like most things Asian.  You just never really see commercials for “Mama Love” toilet paper, so I googled it in much the same way that I google everything and found that I can purchase it if I want to buy 8.5 metric tons or 50,000 rolls.  Does anyone want to go in on it with me?  It’s from China.  You guys like getting baby girls and toilet paper from China.

Farmville doesn’t even know that I was planning on writing about toilet paper because he mostly speaks Asian and thinks that I am a plus sized model and isn’t interested in toilet paper…I think. I don’t know because I have to imagine most of what he’s saying based on his facial expressions.     

Also I just want my mom to know that I love her, and I found a website that teaches me how to play the keyboard for free and that I am going to rock the universe despite what she has always wished. Which is for me to not rock. Sorry mom.
The dishes are done.
Shotgun blast.
I’m not going to tell you about the babysitter.